I feel like complete shit. Today was the first time I’ve eaten meat in about 8 months, and since then I’ve been throwing up. My stomach hurts so bad, and my throat is burn every time I try to swallow anything. I hate my body, if I don’t eat, I feel sick. If I do eat, I feel sick. What the hell?! I can’t even sleep either. Last night I didn’t fall asleep until 3 in the fucking morning. I just lye there with my eyes closed for hours waiting for sleep to find me. I hate all of this, I hate the moment I started to feel the need to do this to myself. I hate that I can’t stop, and I hate that people know yet they pretend that I’m fine. I hate that I pretend that I’m fine, I wish I could just act the way that I feel.